That's Not True

One of my favorite apps for my iPhone 4s, which by the way does not seem all that better than my old regular iPhone 4, is the Constitution of the United States. Why you might ask? Well because it is fun to quote from it to brain dead morons who are too lazy to look it up for themselves. These are the same people who say, "the bible teaches that we need to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps." Which of course it doesn't in any way, shape, or form. 


Joshua Kennon, in his blog on business, politics and life, refers to one of my favorite amendments to the constitution. The Ninth Amendment reads, "The enumeration in the constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people." Why is this one of my favorites? Because it reminds us that "just because it is not in the constitution..." is a stupid statement, just like "God loves those who love themselves" is dumb. We have rights whether they are listed in the constitution or not and God loves the whole creation, especially those who find it hard to love themselves.


Why am I being so forceful in my judgments? Because I am tired of hearing people use ignorant statements as facts. I am tired of those who yell the loudest being the only ones heard. It is just frustrating to hear ignorant people given podiums on the national stage spouting such nonsense without anyone challenging them just as loudly.


I know this is my second post on such a topic. And I am sure I will post again.


The following statements are not in the Bible either:

Money is the root of all evil. - American Religion
Moderation in all things. - Aristotle
Once saved, always saved - American Religion
To thine ownself be true - the play Hamlet
God helps those who help themselves. - Aesop
This, too, shall pass. - the poem Deor
God moves in mysterious ways. - William Cowper


There are others, but you get the idea. Please look it up!

To Un-Occupy My Mind

I am about to head out on vacation. The word "vacation's" root comes from the Latin: freedom from something. Its basic form is from "vacate" to cause to be unoccupied.

There is a sense to the idea of vacation of "leaving behind" in our vernacular. You hear people start a declaration like "I just need a vacation from ..." denoting a hardship or burdensome event.

As I head out on my vacation I like these definitions because I want to be free from what is going on around me and I want to go away. I can not wait to get into the vehicle and point it away from home and work; to move physically through time and space and end up somewhere else. Once there I know that I do not have to make an appointment, clean my house, listen to one more complaint, or chase after my dog when she escapes.

But, vacation has lost some of its intent when we over plan or over expect. There is a sense of sabbatical that needs to be established into our times away. This sense is to slow down and listen; to not produce but to relinquish. Listening and relinquishing are to works that God enjoys from us. Why? because we do not listen very often and more often than not we want so desperately to hang onto everything until we are so burdened we are not able to move!

The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of a teacher, that I may know how to sustain the weary with a word. Morning by morning he wakens--wakens my ear to listen as those who are taught. Isaiah 50:4 (NRSV)

I hope you are able to be unoccupied long enough that you are able to listen and relinquish all back to God. When we can do this we are healthier people.

Job 39:5

The Lying Liars.

One of the interesting parts of United States politics and campaigns is the amount of lying that goes on. It all started from the beginning. Jefferson and Adams fought dirty. Jefferson called Adams: a hideous hermaphroditic character, which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman. Adams called Jefferson: a mean-spirited, low-lived fellow, the son of a half-breed Indian-squaw, sired by a Virginian mulatto father. Apparently Jefferson's smear was better since he won.

Today is no different. It seems that all it takes is just figuring out how to say your lie so that it seems like the truth and that it comes from someone with a title. This way, as Stephen Colbert puts it, the truthiness comes through.

It is obvious that the Kingdom of Earth continues to function as it always has, the powerful will keep their power no matter the cost, even to enslaving their own people. Even Jeremiah knows this: Do not let the prophets and the diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream, for it is a lie that they are prophesying to you in my name; I did not send them, says the LORD. 29:8-9

We are called to a different way, of course. We are called to cut through the malarkey (yes I used that word) and get to the truth. The truth, that is, of God and not of the prophets of profits. As such we are called to call a dog a dog and a fish a fish. But, alas we are caught in the web of it all and it may be difficult to find the fact amidst the gibberish and you may be convinced that it is a dogfish. But, we must try.

Here are a few good habits to get into: Read more than one news source and preferably a couple from overseas. Check out places like factcheck.org, politifact.com, or snopes.com. Good places to lift the curtain on many false statements. Another good habit is wait a few days to see how a story plays out. It is fascinating to watch a lie be told and then discredited by the same news source (Who does their fact checking?) It takes work, but it is worth it to come to a better understanding of any issue! I think God would like that.

Python Jesus

Read a great article in Word and World by Hans Wiersma, associate professor of religion at Augsburg College, Minneapolis on the Life of Brian. The article affirmed something that is absolutely right: The Life of Brian is a great ironical presentation of the humanity of Jesus and the life of first century Judea. Through the character of Brian we see the occupation of Rome, the conflicts of rival Jewish factions, etc. And at the heart of it all is the followers who so desperately need something to believe in that they will just make things up!


After reading the article I had to re-watch the debate between John Cleese and Michael Palin (Monty Python members) and Malcolm Muggeridge (agnostic most of his life until converting to Christianity and wrote popular books on religion) and Rev. Mervyn Stockwood (former Bishop of Southwick). What a painful watch for me. It was painful mostly because of the behavior and arguments made by the so called "Christian" side of the debate. Circular logic and repetition were their tools. Every time John or Michael engaged in a conversational remark, Malcolm or Mervyn would either patronize them or raise their voices as if that would put them in their place.


What I would have loved to have heard was an actual conversation about the dialectical reality of Jesus; divine verses human. It is obvious from the movie that the Pythons did their homework and tried to show a different, but funny, side to the conversation of Jesus. (Blessed are the cheesemakers!)


But, alas, even in our time we cannot have these conversations because the same logic is used by those who are so fearsome of losing their religion: circular logic and yelling. 


I have no real point. Just remembering, laughing, and being sad about the level of social discourse. What have the Romans ever done for us?

The Tour of France

We are in the middle of the Tour De France. Despite all the doping controversies, this bike race is just amazing. When you do the numbers from last year's tour it is stunning: 2,131 miles over 3 weeks; 21 days with 2 rest days; 198 riders started the race; 31 did not finish; Average speed 40 km/h (25 mph); and the steepest climb over 14%. The average age for this years tour is 32 years of age. It is one of the few sports that does not benefit youth. It takes years to build up the endurance and the mental capacity to conquer this race. The first winner in 1903 was 32. The age of the last years winner 34.


The reason I enjoy this race is watching the human body do some amazing things. After riding over 100 miles a person, who has trained  for it, can still make a sprint up a 3 mile incline averaging 14% gradient! Now I was an athlete in my youth, running middle distance and cross country for Eastern Washington University, and even at my peak fitness there is no way I could match what these men do.


No theological connection here other than God made some pretty cool stuff. 
Le Tour De France 2012

Stupid Cultural Expectations

One of the interesting parts of being a pastor is dealing with people's expectations. Generally speaking, we all place expectations on each other and we are surprised when someone does not live up to those assumptions. The problem is that these expectations are rarely spoken and therefore live tacit lives under the surface until they are breached. Then all hell breaks loose!

As a pastor, though (and I think this is true for other 'public' people - doctors, police, etc.), these tacit understandings can become rather amusing. I particularly like the expression on patrons faces at a bar when they find out my profession. The response is usually "You're a pastor?" with faces ranging from shock to consternation. You can physically see them trying to put all the pieces together: pastors wear suit and tie, or a collar thingy, he should not have laughed at my dirty joke, I heard him use a curse word like the rest of us, he has put away more beer than me, what kind of church would have a pastor like this? When they are done processing their initial reaction I imagine their inner monologue like this: OK what should I do now? Will he notice if I slowly walk away? Maybe. Should I apologize for telling that joke? Am I going to hell?

Usually one of several of things happens after the discovery of my profession. One reaction is usually a clearing of the circle. Many just do not know how to deal with what is in front of them; a regular guy who likes beer and preaches on Sunday. So they slide away. This happened to my wife and me at my ten year high school reunion. We would sit down at a table of people and begin cordial conversations. I think we cleared four tables that night. We spent a lot of time laughing at the reactions, but it still hurt. Another reaction is patronizing. There seems to be a need when one meets a pastor to either admit that, hey I went to church once or hey I guess we have nothing in common. Or worse, there ensues a discussion about religion that can only be described as "Googly Informed." (Copyrighted Phrase, July 6, 2012, 12:32pm). All of these are patronizing because there is an assumption that I am inconsequential, have no interests outside of theology, or that somehow all that can be known about my faith can be discovered by a search on the internet (or read in the next popular "faith" book).

The weird expectations are not limited to the general public. Tacit expectations are harder to deal with in the congregation. And they are numerous. Let me make a list of ten for the Ten Commandments (and none of this should be new to anyone):

1. The pastor has a better prayer connection to God than me.
2. Every meal that the pastor is at needs to be prayed for, preferably by him/her.
3. The pastor knows through some super power when I am in the hospital.
4. The pastor is perfect and therefore should not fail me in anyway.
5. The pastor knows more about, well, everything than I do.
6. The pastor believes the very same way I do.
7. The pastor needs to be sent every cute "Christian" anecdote, joke, or picture that has every graced the internet, because I am sure he/she has never seen it.
8. The pastor should always be in the office when I stop by unannounced.
9. The pastor should always be out visiting, especially my friends.
10. The pastor should always be polite and accepting, even when I am being unreasonable, mean or gossipy.

The list could go on. But I think you get the idea. Trying to live up to these sorts of expectations has led many a pastor to burn out, cross boundaries, or act out inappropriately in some way just to be released from this life. I am sure of it. (I blame the pastors in this instance for not taking care of themselves.)

How do I deal with this? Well, quite frankly by being myself. So here is my list of three, for the Holy Trinity, on how to be a successful pastor in the face of unreasonable expectations:

1.  I do not like people and I make sure everyone knows this. To like people is not a prerequisite to the ministry. In fact, I think understanding the human condition and how rudimentary flawed we are should be a prerequisite. We all should know by now that everyone will let you down at some point. Why be surprised when they do? If we are not surprised the better we are able to live with them and be the graceful presence we are called to be. But, I do not have to like you to do this.
2. I make sure that everyone knows that I am fundamentally lazy. No, just because you have come up with a great idea does not mean that I am going to do it for you. In fact, if it is such a good idea there should be five to ten people around you who would love to help you! Too many pastors have ruined congregations by doing the congregations mission and ministry for them. My call letter is pretty specific and is plenty to deal with.
3. I have outside interests that have nothing to do with you or the congregation. No, I am not going to invite you along. Remember, I do not like people. I go fishing to get away from people. I go hunting so that I can spend some quality time with other idiots like myself. I go on trips with my family so that they might remember who I am and no I am not going to cut my vacation short for your second cousin's wedding (Unless it is in Greece and you will provide my wife and I with airline tickets, hotel and meal passes).

Being a pastor is indeed a joy. It is a joy for me because I believe I understand why God called me to this ministry and why congregations have extended the call to serve them. I have been “successful” because I get out of the way of God’s and the congregation's mission and ministry. Instead, I get to study deeply God's word. I get to teach scripture. I get to be with people in their life journey from birth to death. I get to help others in their spiritual journey. I get to preach and preside during worship. I get to stand alongside those who are suffering injustice. It is a good work I do. Just don't put those stupid cultural expectations on me.